Lesson 12: Finding Your Pace in the Holiday Season
The holidays arrive each year with their familiar rhythm—twinkling lights, cheerful music, endless to-do lists. But when your family is navigating the NICU, supporting a young adult through a mental health crisis, or simply recovering from a year that asked more of you than you thought you could give, this season can feel overwhelming rather than magical.
This year, I invite you to consider a different approach: one that honors where you are right now, not where you think you should be.
Taking a Cue from Mother Nature
Step outside during these winter months and notice what nature is doing. Trees have shed their leaves. Animals are hibernating or moving more slowly. The earth itself is resting, gathering strength for the growth that will come in spring.
There's wisdom in this natural slowing down. Our bodies and spirits need this too—especially after seasons of crisis, uncertainty, or simply the daily grind of caregiving. Winter asks us to rest, reflect, and restore. What if we gave ourselves permission to do the same?
Embracing JOMO: The Joy of Missing Out
We've all heard about FOMO—the fear of missing out. But what about JOMO? The Joy of Missing Out.
When you're spending long hours in the NICU, sitting in therapy with your young adult in treatment, or simply trying to hold your family together through difficult times, JOMO isn't just okay—it's essential for your survival and wellbeing.
You don't have to attend every party. You don't need to send elaborate cards. Your holiday meal doesn't require twelve side dishes. The traditions that once brought joy but now feel like burdens? Can you let them go, at least for this season.
Derek Sivers offers a powerful filter for decision-making: "If it's not a hell yes, it's a no." When you're navigating difficult circumstances, this becomes an invaluable tool. Ask yourself: Does this invitation, tradition, or obligation light you up? Does it energize you? Or does it feel like one more thing to check off a list?
If it's not a genuine "yes!" bubbling up from within—if you're doing it out of guilt, obligation, or because you think you "should"—you have permission to decline.
JOMO is about choosing presence over performance. It's finding joy in saying no to what depletes you so you can say yes to what truly matters.
Finding Joy in What Remains
Even in the hardest seasons, there are moments of connection, traditions worth keeping, and simple joys worth savoring. These might look different than they used to—and that's okay.
Maybe your holiday gathering is just your immediate family this year. Maybe your celebration is takeout pizza and a movie because that's all you have energy for.
The traditions that matter most aren't about perfection—they're about being together in whatever way you can. They're about finding light in the darkness, laughter in the midst of tears, and hope when the future feels uncertain.
Permission to Prepare to Bloom
Let me remind you that healing isn't linear and growth doesn't follow a calendar. You're preparing to bloom—but blooms don't happen in winter. They happen when the time is right, when the conditions support growth, when the roots have had time to strengthen beneath the surface.
This season, give yourself permission to be in whatever phase you're in. Whether you're resting, recovering, slowly emerging, or fully thriving—all of it is part of your journey.
Small Ways to Honor Yourself This Season
Taking time for yourself doesn't require hours or elaborate plans. Here are some gentle ways to slow down and care for yourself:
Step outside for five minutes and breathe cold air into your lungs
Light a candle and sit in stillness before the day begins
Say no to one thing that feels obligatory rather than joyful
Take a walk with no destination in mind
Journal three things you're grateful for today
Let someone else handle something you usually do
Go to bed thirty minutes earlier
Call a friend who understands your journey
Give yourself permission to cry, rest, or simply be
You're Not Alone
If you're reading this from a NICU room, a hospital waiting area, or a home that feels heavy with worry—I see you. If you're exhausted from being strong, tired of being brave, and wondering how you'll make it through another day—I understand.
You don't have to navigate this season alone. Support is available, and asking for it isn't weakness—it's wisdom.
Let's Connect
I'd love to hear from you:
How are you taking time to slow down this season?
What traditions or moments of togetherness are bringing your family joy right now?
What are you learning about yourself as this year comes to a close?
Share your reflections in the comments or reach out directly. And if you need support navigating this season—whether you're in the NICU, beyond it, or supporting a young person through their own challenges—please don't hesitate to connect. My promise to you is I will respond if you reach out. You don't have to carry this alone.
Remember: You're not behind. You're not failing. You're exactly where you need to be, preparing to bloom in your own time.
With warmth and understanding,
Shayna Abraham,
Founder, Prepare To Bloom & Beyond the NICU